Unlucky

I don't believe in psychic, palm, tarot or any of those kinds of readings. At least, that's what I've been telling myself to think.

I've always wanted to believe that life is what we make it. Part of our destinies might have been determined for us even before we were born, but what is life if you just follow a preordained path? Where is the challenge if it's already been decided anyway, even before you've begun? Why even try, if in the end, your efforts might not have anything to do with what has been kept in store? I don't know.

Don't get me wrong. What fate drives my way, I take with all my heart. I fight my battles and make the most of it. But I still want to think that they were handed to me as a consequence of my actions in the past. Not because it is paving a path toward what and where I should be in the future. What I would be in the future should be but a consequence of my actions today. But is that really the case?

I've had friends who've dabbled in penmanship writing, card reading, palm reading and that sort of stuff. I would always be a willing victim because I'm a curious cat. And you know what they say about curiosity and cats, right?

Of all those times, I've never heard a good word. Most of them were even morbid. One of my friends, I had to force for him to actually tell me what he saw in my cards. He said it was too morbid for him to even want to say it. I told him I thought that was unfair and that I deserved to know. Those were my cards. But all those things I heard, I pushed at the back of my mind. I didn't want to be held prisoner by what I knew, morbid or not.

What got me thinking is that the last of those morbid "predictions" has already come true. It took longer than I thought. Close to 15 years, I would say. But they all did. So, what's next? Did it end there because that was only how far they saw? Or is it because at that time, that was only how far my actions went? Of course, I'm hoping it would be the latter.