Father's day

It's still Father's day. This afternoon, we went to visit a dead uncle's grave. While we were there, I took the chance to remember my dad. I imagined I was standing over my parents' graves instead. I had a sudden flashback and what I saw surprised me.

I was 10 years old and we just laid my mother to her grave. I don't remember anything else other than seeing my dad holding on to one of the tent posts, crying. I remember thinking I have never seen him like that. I remember being worried about how we'll do after that. I remember holding my sister's hand. She was just a bit older than A is now.

And then it occurred to me: I have no memory of how the following days went by. I can't remember how we coped. I don't remember my dad mourning. I don't know how long before he went back to work. I just know that he did. He wasn't a husband anymore, but he had to go on being a father. I won't say he's perfect. He had his shortcomings, but I can't blame him. It hadn't been easy for him. But now I know, everything he did, he was trying to be a good father.

When I was in high school, I went to a friend's house one weekend to do a project. It was storming, but I went ahead anyway. That night, I couldn't go home because there was a flash flood. I was stranded. I could have stayed over at my friend's house, but my dad wouldn't have it. Never mind that he had to drive through floods and heavy traffic, he went to come get me.

And he never asked for anything in return. When we were young, he always told us that we don't owe him anything. He's always said what we owe him for raising us, we owe to our children to raise them well. He never went back on his word. We've never heard anything, not even a suggestion that we had obligations to him. He'd always say, "Ipunin nyo na lang para sa mga bata." When we'd shower him with gifts, he'd say, "Ang dami ko nang utang sa iyo." When I suggested he retire and we'll take care of his expenses, he shrugged me off. "Kaya ko pang magtrabaho, mag-ipon na lang kayo."

I don't know of anybody more selfless than that.

Happy father's day, dad.